Today & Tornadoes

Today, there were tornadoes. I was sitting on the couch in the ComArts building outside of the offices of some of the most well-respected professors I know. I waded through water to get to building 36 to sit on that couch...I had a Integrated Research Communication examination at the 11th hour and I needed to brush up on the material. While studying, I overheard one of the professors telling another, "The waters were so high on the road that I resorted to praying; it was just that bad." Resorted, eh? Interesting. I had to meet with a professor in that building and when I entered her office, it hit me. The wonder of it all. The terror. From a window in her office, I looked at the wind that was furociously whipping the trees and buildings surrounding. Suddenly sirens began to sound and we were all rushed into an interior hallway. The storm was approaching. I could not help but be in awe of Him. He is in control of it all. The terror of the waters rising and buildings crumbling. Insanity that I place such restraints on Him that I do. Even mentioning them, I feel so small and idiotic. When I arrived home, I read this article on www.desiringgod.org about natural disasters and the hand of God in them.

A man I used to know

There is a man that I know who was deeply in love with Jesus. He and his wife desired nothing more than to raise a brood of sons to be Godly men. The Lord tremendously blessed them with six children, all boys, who were called after great men in the Bible: Daniel Isaac Benjamin Nathaniel Timothy Caleb Their family has struggled financially as long as I have known them. I remember on several occassions having food drives at church in order to provide them with meals. They were always together, though, and always in good spirits. The man I know began to become a man I didn't know...and one I did not understand. He began going to bars and was caught up in that lifestyle and all that it holds (which ironically turns out to be nothing at all). His wife would take their sons and wait for him outside of the bar. A year ago in July, the man I didn't know anymore attempted to rob a bank and though he did not succeed, he did escape authorities. He eventually turned himself in only to be sentenced to years in prison. What a horrific thing...I cannot even imagine. A month or so ago, his wife was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was not expected to live. She was rushed to Gainesville where Shands hospital is seated and was poked and prodded by many doctors, as they had never seen such a large tumor. The tumor was not expected to be removed without causing her to die. By God's grace, the tumor was extracted without any damage to the brain. The doctor's were all stunned-- and she pointed them to God and His power. Days later, the doctors put her under a drug-induced coma and she did not wake up in this life. She went to sleep in her earthly body and is at the feet of Jesus on Saturday. The man that I used to know will not be able to attend the funeral because he is thought to be a danger to himself and to others--the past year's events have taken quite a toll on him physically, spiritually, and emotionally, I am certain. I pray that this man that I used to know sometime soon can rest in the One who knows him so well and loves him so much.

No one else, but...

There is no one else for me; none but Jesus. Crucified to set me free. Now I live to bring Him praise. This is an amazing anthemn written by Hillsong United on their album United We Stand. It is such a peculiar thing to me when I find myself singing this at the top of my lungs in my Nissan Altima (whom I affectionately call "Annie"). Why, you ask? Well, because I really want to mean that there is no one else for me but Jesus; however, when it comes to reality, is that what my life sings at the top of her lungs? I know myself...I know my intricate struggles. Lately my theology has been clashing with my reality and I have found myself on the hypo side of "hypocrite" and I hate it. There is so much that I want to be...and it's hard to believe that He loves me and not just some future version of me (as Matt Chandler says, see thevillagechurch.net). But I know He does...cognitively, at least. Is it supposed to be this hard? Yes, you idiot. It is. It is warfare.