Gullible

My Dad and Mom recently suggested that I read a book by Douglas Wilson's wife, Nancy. The book is entitled The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman. Brian has read Douglas Wilson's Reforming Marriage, which could be said to be the version of the book that I am reading only it is for the husband. As I opened to the first chapter, on the first page was the phrase gullible women. By this phrase, this passage is quoted:

Know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, havinf a form of godlineness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth

(2 Timothy 3:1-6).

What a powerful passage that leads us up to the window to peer into our own depravity as humans! What struck me the most concerning this passage was the part about gullible women. I see myself within the words that Paul uses to describe this woman who is loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, and as one who is always learning, but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

As I read, the rest of the chapter, I gleaned other practical truths, but I cannot for the life of me get past the fact that on my own, I am probably more inclined to slip into the lies that our culture tells me about my gender and about my role than I am to learn to believe what my Maker actually says about me. Isn't this reprehensible? This seriously makes me want to barf.

I am so in awe of the fact that God would place my husband over me for my own protection so that I would not be so easily led away by his crafty schemes. However, I must do my own part to capture and submit every thought to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), knowing that it is Him who enables me to do that very thing.

Big "Meany"

I'm mean. There. I said it. I don't mean to be mean. It comes out. Theologically (or even from a communication standpoint), I suppose in many ways that statement isn't true. I am making a choice to be mean. I could choose to be kind...but I cannot pool from my own "kind" pool because, let's face it: it doesn't exist. I honestly believe that kindness doesn't ooze from me naturally. Quite the contrary! There is quite a war within my soul to force the flesh to be obedient to Christ in loving my brother (and no, not just Mark--) or my neighbor. And sometimes, let's face it: it's clear that the flesh has won again. So what's the deal? Why can't I just do better? Be better? Do I really believe that it has to be Christ in me working out that love or is that just something that I know with my head is true, but something that my heart hasn't latched onto? Several weeks ago, I was struck with the words, "Trust Christ." Rob Hadding, the pastor of Harmony Ridge in Pace, said them in response to a question posed by someone in the church concerning how to be sure that you are Christ's and how to wage war against sin in the flesh. [The discussion that was had was one that I hold tenderly in my heart, however, I am not drawing from it's complete context for this particular post. I am merely making reference to once specific statement. However, you should all visit the Harmony Ridge website link and listen to the Doctrines of Grace sermons, if they are available.] Rob asked (to us all), " Do you trust Him?" The thing is, one cannot always rightly answer that question with his lips, but rather his behavior and posture in reference to God and to the cross. Here's what I mean: I could say with my lips that I do trust Him and I could point to all the circumstances where I feel that I am trusting Him. But in reality, with my life, is that trust evident? God doesn't need evidence...He already knows without "exhibits A, B, C...Z." Do I know, though? Am I ever before Him asking Him to ignite within me a vision of Himself (through Scripture and the Holy Spirit...or if He just wanted to actually SHOW me Himself) that would prompt a right response of trust in Him? Would it help (seeing Him)? I reflect on the disciples and other followers of Christ who walked with Him, saw Him crucified, and saw Him raised from the dead and still they doubted (Matthew 28: 17b). I think, for me, it isn't so much about seeing Him as it is about really looking into the Word and applying it as a salve to my heart and a decree in my mind, so that before I am faced with a situation where I will be faced with the decision to be mean or not, I will have already had the words of Christ applied to my heart and mind and I will respond with resounding kindness. Now, this kindness will not be something that is mustered up from the marrow of my bones; however, it will be the manifestation of Christ IN me, who is my only hope (see Colossians 1:25-29).

CAUTION: rant

Sometimes, I hate submission. I know. That's awful to say, but I have made it my goal to not put on a face of falsehood via blog. I know that God calls me to submit for many reasons, one of which is for my protection and covering. But sometimes, I just rage against the idea. I am sick of "friends" who aren't real and people who dabble in mediocrity because they can...because this is America and mediocrity is what we've learned to be content with no matter the situation. What is life meant for? To be lived frivolously? Certainly not! With purpose, I declare! Hear no form of judgement in my tone, but do hear the groanings of a girl who longs to be Godly and who desires to pursue Christ with a strong community or circuit of friends. Are there any Godly ones out there? Does everyone love self so desperately that the sense of selflessness has been drowned out? I want to learn to be selfless...but is there anyone willing to instruct through his own life?