Design and Due Dates

I thought that the last update would indeed be the last one for a while, with the expected arrival of Baby Caldwell sometime this week gone by. For some reason unknown by me, the baby has not arrived and so I update once more. I have been thinking a lot lately (what else to do whilst I wait?)... I have been very adamant about requesting prayer (and praying myself) about wanting to trust Christ with every fiber of my being and not excluding the birth of this baby in that desire to trust Him. Brian and I have chosen to go the natural (no intervention) route for a plethora of reasons, namely the fact that we believe that God's design of the body is not lacking and therefore, childbirth can be accomplished without medical intervention (induction, pitocin, other augmentation, etc.) NOTE: We don't believe that one MUST have a natural childbirth if she is REALLY spirit-led; that's not it at all. But, for us, this has been a much-prayed-about, well-researched decision that we feel very strongly about. (Reader: Hopefully you do not feel like we are pushing anything other than Christ as being ultimate. We know that lots of believers have epidurals and we are completely thrilled for ANY way that God allows us to birth babies.) Anyway, so we're trusting Him and gearing me up for talking to myself (thank you, D. Martin Lloyd-Jones) during labor and delivery. What is the truth?

• The truth is that God is not opposing me while I am experiencing intense labor (thanks, Rachel Thurmond, for this reminder).
• God made my body to work in this way-- and it is W-O-R-K , the hardest work my body will do(thanks, Jenny Allen, for telling me the truth about this).
• It is a blessing from the Lord to experience every moment of this entire process-- pregnancy, laboring, delivering, and all the wonderful moments ahead in shepherding this little one.

So I have really been working on my attitude about the process and gearing up to experience this pain (that is, pain with a purpose), though I really don't know if one can adequately prepare for this sort of thing.

But this week-- seeing my due date come and go with no sign of baby-- I have realized that I neglected something. I have neglected to really view this whole experience in light of God's timing. Yes, He is sovereign over His own design and purpose in childbirth. He is also sovereign over when this blessing will arrive. It's in His hands. No matter how miserable I am or how ready I am, nothing competes with the fact that HE knows exactly when this baby will come. That knowledge and order is perfect. He is doing what brings Him glory...and in that, my needs are met-- even when they don't feel mushy-gushy.

Pray for me, that I would trust Him completely... with the design and with the date.

Counting down

So, the countdown has begun... My due date is May 3rd, though we're not actually sure exactly which day Baby Caldwell will grace us with his/her presence... If the entry will be graceful or not, we're also not certain. I will say that we have been praying that in all things, we will glorify Jesus. I don't believe that birthing a child is exempt from one of the opportunities in this life to honor Christ. Life is all about Him...

...we could never make a bigger deal of Christ than He is worthy of...

We have seen the LORD provide for us (and for Baby Caldwell-- affectionately called "The Womb-Dweller by those dear) in the showering of gifts and kind words towards our family. Thanks be to God for all that He does to show us more of Himself.

I feel so inadequate to be called "Mama" to this child; however, I am sure of this: Christ will be made much of in my life because of this baby. I say that in confidence because I know, without a doubt, that Brian and I will be forced to lay prostrate before Him concerning rearing this little one for the glory of the Father. And I think that is honoring to God because we are admitting/acknowledging our complete and utter dependence on Him and therein His absolute God-ness in our lives and in the universe...and beyond!

Please pray for Brian and I as we enter into the last days of the pregnancy. We want to trust Christ with our whole lives...in pain or in sweetness.... And when the two collide.