Kiddos lately.

 Abraham. My little ganster. "Gansta," rather. He is getting to be such a little man, but he still loves his "pa-pa" (pacifier). =)

Caleb here, riding his bike with no training wheels or pedals. Days later, he rides with pedals and no training wheels...and all at the mere age of three. Daddy taught him well.

Abe enjoying his oatmeal for breakfast.

Caleb... finished with breakfast. The above (two) photos were taken on Day 1 of Operation: Daddy hikes the AT while Mama + Granda hang with three kids, three and under.

Before Mrs. Tammy came over for dinner...

Caprese Salad

Red Velvet Cake brownies. Yum!

Granda + Noa Grace

Abraham going to the toilet for the first time! His idea.

Granda + Caleb

The boys after their first shower... by themselves.  They wanted to wear a towel like Daddy.

Abe striking a pose for the camera.

Noa Grace eats rice cereal for the first time!

Hurricane.

My head and heart sometimes just feel so very foggy.  A true war within me, as Paul talks about in Romans 7. This week has been somewhat of a hurricane (and by the way, there is in fact a Hurricane headed our way, here in northwest Florida) in the area of child training. I feel so lost sometimes. And sometimes I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed. I say, "Lord, what were You thinking giving these children to me? I am ruining them!" But really, at the end of those kinds of days, I do end up realizing (by the Lord's grace) that He is showing me my great need of Him... daily, hourly, moment by moment. It's really a blessing.

He is drawing me closer, pulling me nearer to Him. Isn't that where I say that I long to be?

So, when there are storms in my heart and head, I have to come back to the truth that He is at work. For His glory and for my good.

Honest

I started reading a book recently entitled "The Praying Life" by Paul Miller. It's phenomenal. I just need to start with that because the book has been so helpful in prying my eyes open from their somewhat slumber party to what's going on around me and my utter desperation and need for Christ. There. Said it.

Prayer is something that has been lacking in my life.... like *real* prayer. Not the "oh, help me Jesus!" prayers that I cry aloud daily. In all sincerity, those are true cries to Jesus for help. But I am left wanting more of Jesus--more time in His presence, praying for the thousands (millions?) of things that are jostling about in this 'ole head of mine. Ya know? Any busy people out there? Do you relate?

I have tried to take the counsel of others as to remedying this ache, but really nothing remedies like the Most High and time before Him. The way to remedy this prayer problem is by praying. It's been amazing to have my own laid bare before Him (and before my own self) and just start with where I am. I have trouble praying. There. It's out there. I am really grateful that the Lord doesn't want me to wait until I get all of my ducks in a row before I come to Him. He isn't saying that unless I have two hours to spend before Him, don't bother. He is beckoning me-- the weary one-- to come to Him-- the One who never wearies-- and He will give me rest. I am beyond grateful. Wow.

Anyway, buy the book and read it.
But really, pray. Talk to God about where you are. He has been so faithful to allow me to be honest and to change me in the process.

Maintaining

Hey there, friends.
Just wanting to keep you up to date with regard to the goal of running another half-marathon this year. I am training and really enjoying running. I had my longest run (for this training schedule) this morning with a friend; a whopping SEVEN miles. When I started, I never imagined being able to run that far, but alas, the small miles during the week have really helped my ability to run more miles on the weekends.

Running is one of the things that helps me clear my head. I lace up my shoes, head out the door and start thinking and sorting things out in my brain. I have realized that since having children, I really don't think very cohesively. I am scattered. And, while that is okay and somewhat understandable for this season in life, I really would like to become more collected. Running has helped with that because there is a scheduled time for me to run & think.

I have been really trying to lose this weight that I have collected after having three kids in three years (and three c-sections). It's been so very difficult. I cannot even begin to tell you....sigh. But, I am working on it. I realized, while I was out for a run, that I had been praying for self-control (with regard to eating and exercise), but that in a sense, I had been content with just maintaining. If you have ever tried to lose weight, you know that to maintain your current weight, you just do the same 'ole thing you've always done. You eat what you normally eat, etc. BUT if you're trying to lose weight, you cut out things and add things that are more beneficial for your body's use. I realized that in my walk with the Lord, there are areas where my heart's attitude has just been in "maintain" mode. Perhaps there are seasons like that.... and obviously (based on God's Word), His grace doesn't demand me to work up some "good" action. BUT I am compelled to get aggressive about waging war with the sin in my heart. Not to maintain, but to make war.

Does that even make sense?
Hope so.
Anyway, it's where I am.

I am psyching myself up for a week with all three children, minus my man. He is headed out on a week-long backpacking adventure with our oldest daughter, Halie. I am super excited for them (and a wee-bit envious!), but I am going to miss him terribly.

Say a prayer for me this week, if you think of me.
I need it!

Goal #1: Run another half-marathon

The other night, Brian was telling me about a certain radio program that he had listened to earlier in the day. It was about a guy who grew up in Utah (a landlocked state) and had the lifelong ambition to sail. Having never actually been sailing before (because of the landlocked-ness), he just read everything he could about sailing. Later in life, a friend of his died. The passing of his friend made him realize that he didn't want to regret having never actually pursued the sailing dream. So, he started building a sailboat. He acquired an old hull, but built the rest himself. It was marvelous. And he and his wife sailed an trans-atlantic voyage. And do so now quite often.

Brian came alive while telling me about this. He is so much about dreaming big and then going for it. I wish I was that way, but I am not.

And that's why I am writing.
Because that is what I "do."
I have very few "big dreams."
I sometimes feel like I am too busy living my life day-to-day to make goals for myself. I realized when Brian was telling me the "sailing" story that I needed to be thinking and dreaming a bit more. I definitely don't want to wish my kids' lives away, but sometimes I feel like that when they are older, I can dream. Probably out of balance a bit there.

I am planning a series of posts that focus on some goals that I have. Here's to dreaming and getting more balanced.

So, I've decided that I want to run another half-marathon in November. What are you thinking? I'm crazy? Yeah, probably. Mainly because I don't have the time to run. Not really. Logistically, I don't know how it will work out. This week was my first week of training and out of three days that I was supposed to run, I only managed to get it one lousy two-miler. Bummer. But it wasn't because I didn't want to run. I did. Promise. I just didn't work out. And that's okay (I hope). When I trained before, it was in 2008 when I had no babies. Now I have three babies who are three years old and younger. My life looks different. My body looks and feels a lot different. But, within me, there still is a desire to run. And be healthy. And feel good. So I will run, I think.

Cheer me on in this dream, friend.
I'm going to need it... 

My husband.

My husband is a modern day Renaissance Man.
No, really.
He is.
I don't just seem him through rose-colored glasses.

He loves exploring.
He has thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail from Georgia to (almost) Pennsylvania, a hundred miles or so at a time and plans to finish it sometime before he dies. (Side note: He started going the summer he graduated from college. His gear and the gift were from his dad, whom we affectionately call "Pops.")

He loves Europe and has been on three different occasions, all with high school students. He longs to students to obtain a different perspective on life through the lens of different cultures. To appreciate, to learn, and possibly to apply to life here in the States. (He took Halie one year with him to Italy. The following year, he took ME and Halie to France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Lichtenstein, and Czech Republic.)

He loves to surf and has taken many trips to Costa Rica to ride the waves. We even went there on our honeymoon.

 He's super adventurous.
He, along with his brother, dad, and other family members (and other talented friends) built our current cottage one summer while on break from school. Doing that has allowed our mortgage (aka: death pledge) to be extremely affordable.

He wants to do everything. He wants to fly for the Blue Angels, star in Discovery's "Out of Venezuela" or a show like that, rock-climb, sail a trans-oceanic voyage, build a timber-frame house, make a storage-container house, live in another state, live in another country, help people with finances (he is a Dave Ramsey type of person), be a musician, etc.

The thing, though, that he most aspires to do and be is a lover of Christ and a lover of me and our family. He is so passionate about training our children. He wants to pour out his life into them. I love that. I love him. He's the guy that I thought never would exist... In so many ways, he shows me that God is faithful to hear our cries and that God is sovereign of all things. And that God loves me. This man cares about me and cares for me. He provides comic relief and sound wisdom. He also speaks the hard truth readily to me. But he reminds me to rely on the grace of God in Christ Jesus.

Thank you, Lord, for Brian.

Run Through...

It's summer, y'all!
My man (a teacher) is through with his teaching job until August. Yay! BUT he is working this summer with his contractor brother. I am excited for him. He has this saying that sums up his reasoning for working with his brother, "Those who work with their hands sabbath with their minds; Those who work with their minds sabbath with their hands." He is obviously in the latter category and is looking very forward to using his hands this summer.

We're putting our house on the market in October. We have a lot of work to do (okay, not a *lot*, but it feels that way) in order to get ready. Mainly a lot of painting. I am excited, though I am in a stage of disbelief that we will actually be able to sell. We had this plan a few years back of building and selling three or four times and then to build a house in which we would have not mortgage. Nice plan, huh? Well, here's to hoping it works.

The kids are in such sweet stages right now. Caleb is three and ultra considerate, y'all. I've never really seen a kid act like he does. He is sensitive, yet strong. A lot like his daddy. I am impressed with how God is working in him. And it is a work of God, believe me. Some friends comment on how well-behaved our children are and how sweet, etc. But I know me. And I know that no good thing dwells in me... Apart from the Spirit at work, these kids are going to be a big 'ole mess. But I am so thankful that the Savior has me in the palm of His hand and that He has chosen to order my steps and those of the people He gave me.

Abraham is becoming understandable when he speaks. He isn't even two yet, but he is putting phrases together very quickly. I love the way that he articulates his ideas. He calls Caleb "Cay-Cay" and Noa Grace "Gracie." I love it! I love his spunky personality. He is going through this phase where he whines when he doesn't get his way. Sometimes I feel like I never grew out of that phase. It's hard to discipline for those sorts of things... But, I am grateful that God is patiently disciplining and prunning me. And so... I pass on that same wisdom and correction to Abe.

Noa Grace will be five months on the 11th. She is quite the personality lately. Her eyes are huge and she communicates in smiles. I love that little girl. I never realized how neat it would be to have all these kiddos in my house. And both genders are fabulous.

I am hoping to begin training for a half-marathon this week. The training begins this week. that is. The race isn't this week. Thankfully. Though I feel like when I say, "I am training for a half-marathon," I might as well be running it this week because that is how crazy the idea feels. I ran a half back in 2008 before all of the kids came along. Now that they are here, I desperately need several things: To be healthy and in shape again  AND some sanity. Running has always proved to serve me well in both of these aforementioned areas of need. I'll keep ya posted.