Two issues.

I've been reading Disciplined for Life, as I have told you before, with Brian and the rest of Redeemer Church. It has been extremely helpful in pointing out areas of my heart and life that I have been wrestling with for a while.

One is the issue of self-righteousness and how favor from God is actually obtained. I listened to a sermon this morning from a wise man named Jerry Bridges. Mr. Bridges is an 80-year old author and teacher whom I have come to greatly respect. I have read only one of his books (The Pursuit of Holiness), but I hope to acquire several other titles in the weeks and months to come (especially The Discipline of Grace because it is specifically mentioned in Disciplined for Life). In the sermon, Mr. Bridges addresses the issue of self-righteousness and how it is completely opposed to the gospel. He considers three different Pharisees and the dangers of self-righteousness in Luke 18:1,9.

To trust in yourself that you are righteous is one thing. But self-righteousness (I've learned) usually doesn't stay inside those neat (read: ugly) lines. Self-righteousness also tends to hold others in contempt. It is much like a virus... it can be completely debilitating and could be fatal. We should view it that way all of the time.

Self-righteousness can lie dormant in our lives and return at any time, even as a believer. I found that to be true and was confronted with the fact that I MUST rely on Christ for favor from God, as favor with God can come by no other way. It's such a privilege to have had my eyes open to this fact and to this sin in my life. I won't go into all of the ways that self-righteousness has manifested itself in my life, but I will tell you that me relying on my own ability to be right before God has caused considerable damage in my relationship with God as well as in my relationship with people.

I hate to move on from this part of the conversation so quickly because, let's face it: I could talk about my utter depravity for a while. However, I do want to move on to another issue that Disciplined for Life talks about because it's something that is related (at least in my life) to self-righteousness. I am really excited that God is using almost all of the books that I am reading and sermons that I am listening to currently to point out these areas of sin in my life.

Prayerlessness.

Yep. It's hard for me to consistently spend time with God and pray. I don't know exactly why it is, but I do know (after listening to an unexpected sermon yesterday called Jesus Heals a Demonized Boy by Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle) that the reason that prayerlessness exists is often rooted in unbelief, which is a sin. Driscoll admonishes his congregation (and me, as an iTunes podcaster) to repent of this sin of unbelief.

Matt Chandler, pastor of The Village Church in Dallas, also addresses prayer in his latest sermon entitled Devotion to Prayer. His sermon is very helpful on many different levels and in many areas. If you're having trouble understanding the sovereignty of God and prayer, I recommend this sermon. But within the sermon, he said something about how if you struggle getting before the Lord in prayer, you may have a misunderstanding about your need for Christ.

Last night, I was so overwhelmed by my own prayerlessness and I asked God to make me a woman of prayer. I desperately need Him. I also need to be made more aware  (daily) of my need of Him.

Lots of things going on in this heart and head of mine. Praise Christ for His grace and mercy in bringing these things to light.