Personal Vendetta

I realized this week that I really have a problem with wanting to hold onto the idea of personal vengeance in a few specific relationships in my life. I will save you from having to read about specifics (I don't think that it is wise to divulge such information via blog...or perhaps at all?).

Romans 12:14-21

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I listened to a sermon that was preached to Grace Family Bible Church by Voddie Baucham. It has really cut me open...

Here are some notes:

I determine that someone has wronged me and I am at the center of the universe and they have to pay for what they've done to me.

Vengeance itself is not sinful. But ME avenging myself is sinful. Vengeance is  the vindication of God's justice and righteous. It is necessary. It is right. It is good. But it isn't good when I try to carry it out.

Jesus will judge (Revelation 19:11-16, 20:7-10, 13-15) and enact vengeance. That is holy, just, and right retribution.

What's wrong with avenging myself?
Paul makes it clear in Romans 12 that we are not to avenge ourselves

Avenging ourselves means viewing ourselves in the place of God.
There is ONE who is righteous and who is to be vindicated.
I am not worthy of exacting vengeance on anyone because I am not the standard.

This means that I am satisfied with a finite punishment with an infinite one is what is deserved.
What I want and what I'd be satisfied with is if I get to punch them in the face so that I feel that they have received (from me) a satisfactory punishment. God says though, that sin is so grievous that *that* (punch in the face, telling them off, etc.)  is not sufficient. My anger is insufficient.

Hypocrisy of considering my sin worthy of forgiveness and theirs worthy of wrath.
I want to exact justice on a person... when the anger in my response towards the person is worthy of hell. So, in reality: I want to give them what they deserve, but I don't want to think about my sin and what I deserve.

So, how am I now to respond as one who has been purchased by the Blood of Christ when I am wronged?

With a sober assessment of the fact that I am as guilty as my fellow man. And realizing that being insistent on vengeance is a negation of the grace that I have received.
Paul is addressing believers in Romans 12:14-21. He reminds us that we have been recipients of the grace of God. He doesn't allow us to live because I make Him feel warm and fuzzy, but because He crushed His own Son.

Know that God is serious about sin and that He will make all things right. 
If I don't believe that there is a just God who will settle things at the end of the age, then my only hope is that I have to settle the score. But if I believe that there is a day coming when God will exact vengeance, then I can let go of having to make something right.  I serve a God who is serious about sin. When I avenge myself, I am saying that I don't believe that God will do anything about it, or that His punishment isn't serious enough. But His own Son was crucified because of the seriousness of our sin. We can know that He is righteous, just, and holy.

I must have a desire to see my fellow man to experience the forgiveness that is available as a result of Christ's death for sin. 
There are two ways that sin can be paid for: in an eternity under the wrath of God or that sin can be paid at the cross. Our desire, as those redeemed by God, ought always to be--to see that sin taken care of at the cross. What kind of a Christian would I be if I looked to myself, "Yes, Christ died and His death is sufficient for my sin. But YOU. No, you go to hell. That's what I want. Having been redeemed from that, I want you to experience that." Makes.No.Sense.

Now to put all of this to action...