No one else, but...

There is no one else for me; none but Jesus. Crucified to set me free. Now I live to bring Him praise. This is an amazing anthemn written by Hillsong United on their album United We Stand. It is such a peculiar thing to me when I find myself singing this at the top of my lungs in my Nissan Altima (whom I affectionately call "Annie"). Why, you ask? Well, because I really want to mean that there is no one else for me but Jesus; however, when it comes to reality, is that what my life sings at the top of her lungs? I know myself...I know my intricate struggles. Lately my theology has been clashing with my reality and I have found myself on the hypo side of "hypocrite" and I hate it. There is so much that I want to be...and it's hard to believe that He loves me and not just some future version of me (as Matt Chandler says, see thevillagechurch.net). But I know He does...cognitively, at least. Is it supposed to be this hard? Yes, you idiot. It is. It is warfare.