What happens when your theology has to meet the road of life? What do you say that you believe about God? What do you actually believe about Him?
These are several of the questions that I have been asking myself since about 10 PM Sunday night. Caleb had been coughing and was really laboring to breathe. He hadn't really shown any other symptoms other than these, but the symptoms were persistent enough to keep him (and Brian & I) awake. We prayed that God would heal him and believe that God is able to do those kinds of things...even today. Around 2 AM, after Caleb had thrown up for the fourth time and after it was clear that something was wrong, Brian loaded him up and took him to the ER.
As I watched the taillights of my Altima leave my driveway and then the subdivision, the questions started.
"God, you do know that I love that little man, right?"
"God, are you going to take care of him? He's my boy, remember?"
"I know that You say that all things work together for the good of those who love You... but does this fit?"
Brian told me on the phone a while ago that seeing the doctors put an IV in Caleb was really tough and that he was so glad that I hadn't been there to see it. Whew! "Lord, that's my son! Take care of him, please?"
I just received a call from Brian saying that Baptist wants to transfer him to Sacred Heart for further testing and care. I have had to speak really firmly with myself and reject the tendency to worry. It's hard to reject and easy to embrace. But it [worry] is so unfruitful!
Jesus, may Your Name be lifted high.
Help me to know & believe You... the real You and not some version of You that is comfortable. Help my theology to match my reality.
And please help me to trust that You hold my little boy in the palm of your hand and that you love him way more than I ever could.
2 comments:
Praying for you and your sweet boy. Is it pneumonia?
It's comforting to know that God can handle your tough questions, isn't it?
Love you guys.
Press on Sister! Trials can be so refreshing, in an eternal kind-of way. It's so sweet to see you calling out to our God. Sure evidence that He's still got you!
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